drug locket

i now declare minute maid’s apple cranberry juice my new fav drink!
its reallyyyyy gooooooooooood!
like super good, not just good. super duper good.
i’ve had 4 bottles of it alr. hahaha.

quite addictive, im so sleepy.
dreaming of water beds. 80l water beds. hahaha.
anw tmr’s CRMint is gonna be bad im sure.
but dempsey & ann siang aft that wld be fun im sure.
& that makes up for it i guess.

cant wait for tmr. come soon!
i’ve gt the killer’s new album.
thank you thank you thank you.
i love you.

so today was quite a blur. & i cant rmb much of yesterday or the day before. time seems to quietly slip by me. today i took a peek into a twit’s world w veron. i must admit it was so fucking fun. we cldnt stop laughing. even when the shift ended we were still amused. imagine that. haha. one of my favourite lines from the book ‘ you are like a lamp post to mii coz you shiine liight into moi life.. ‘ or smething like that. AHHAHHAHAH.

who the fuck refers their ‘love of the life’ to a lamp post? oh god. & i thought i’ve heard the lamest of shits. oh well. it was really amusing. high level of mental retardation.

so i kind of spent the whole journey home staring into space w thoughts running through my head. i thought of almost anything & everything. it was quite random, yet it made me realised so much change had taken place over the years & months even days. its quite saddening really. time really does wait for no one.

i miss my room.
i miss my winnie the pooh bowl.
i miss painting the walls.
i miss sundays at the beach.
i miss bomberman sessions w mango.
i miss my honey bunch.
i miss being tucked into bed.
i miss breakfast cereal & milk.
i miss afternoon naps.
i miss the stillness of 3ams.
i miss sleepovers w ish.
i miss panda mansion too.
i miss sleeping in class.
i miss cheap, satisfying canteen food.
i miss fruit tarts.
i miss tiramisu.
i miss takopachi.
i miss morning rainbows.
i miss sitting at the bus stop.
i miss sitting in the rain.
i miss that chicken bolognese.
i miss sparklers & bomb bags.
i miss silly afternoons & cosy nights.
i miss innocence.
i miss simplicity.
i miss laughing to my hearts content.
i miss loving who i am.

theres tons more im sure. im just too worn to think. well, theres always another day right?

I don’t get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I’d been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I’d be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a wide sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there’s an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away

I’m sorry, I know that’s a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know

That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

& these people arent your friends.
there are guards at the on ramps armed to the teeth
you may case the grounds from the cascades to puget sound
but you are not permitted to leave.

im screaming & crying inside.
but you know you’ll never see.
you never will cause you never did.
but it doesnt matter.

goodbye.

18 November 4.11am 

so saturday was how it shd be like.
the choc fondue, m&s cookies..
DotA & NDS.
fucking cute.

so its settled then.
Alex & Seth.
pretty pretty.

its tiring to pretend.
why bother?