it’s back to one,
and back to none.
too swayed by what’s on the screens
we’ve lost track of what it actually means
and so you said it foolishly to me
i’m pretty sure now, you’re sorry you did
’cause now im just only ‘that phase’
& in a heartbeat you’ve changed your pace
if it is to end, let it end where it began
it’s time to reverse the cycle, start over again
got to sleep at about 6am, got up at 8.15am or so.
horribly worn out. vodka is a silent killer.
hotcakes & sausage and a cappucino.
struggled with my Burberry, i took a cab home.
got back, showered and felt much better.
it sure feels good to be back home.
wednesday felt like a dream.
it felt as though things came through.
i think all the liquor put a rush to my head
& broke all the barriers that held my emotions in.
i remember, yet i wonder what difference it made.
if i could, i would relive that moment again.
when i felt so vulnerable & yet so honest with myself.
sounding so silly like a child.
being unbothered by everyone else who was insignificant.
i guess that was how it felt as i recall.
maybe thats why its called ‘letting loose’,
cause you become unrestrained and bare.
but its scary when you’re broken down
cause you’ll never know who will be there to protect you.
well, its one day at a time.
but you’re still close.
on a lighter note, some pictures from last week.
pictures from wednesday up soon.
these days i’ve been stuck in a loop.
my mind has been so noisy, too filled with static.
cant find the mood for anything & everything.
why does it feel as though people keep cramming thoughts into my head?
feels as though my attention’s constantly diverted, shifted then forgotten.
dont get the insults, accusations, questions.
people just dont get that their smart remarks are just hurting.
it feels as though a mask has settled over me.
im stuck in a state.
i no longer have the will to concentrate, to process, to do anything.
cant remember. cant live.
every day is just another moment.
another one till finally comes.
i have just started on retail branding. been in a whole sleepy mood all day. consumed with thoughts and what not. getting real bored of the words and really chomping on those eclipse mints. hopefully i’ll get through the paper well. looking forward to a great 2 weeks break of chalet, zouk and bintan resort.
lets fast forward.
