Filed under: reflections
| Today is one of those days where all I want to do is crawl into bed, listen to sad songs and cry. Not eat anything and just feel like I’m about to fade away into dust and disappear from the world. Without pain or fear and just let go of anything. Be what I always feel I am; an empty shell in orbit. Float off course into the vacuous infinite darkness and never turn back.
It just feels like one of those days where living itself is death. |
Filed under: reflections
So..the title of this post is really what I’m feeling right nw. Spent the afternoon watching skins AGAIN with a beer. The show never fails to make me laugh/amused.
Got a call on my cell, received an order for a 3 tier cake due December..which is totally cool. Cake orders make me nervous cause I’m really quite a perfectionist sometimes..I may seem like a slob, cause I usually have food crumbs in my hair when I’m eating and my room’s a mess, but I’m almost always never satisfied with my own standard of work (baking).
Anyways the client seems nice..atas but quite friendly. My computer just died on me seconds after I got the call so I can’t research. Laying in bed nw as a result..with dance music blasting in my ears, lights all turned off, the world zoned out. What’s wrong with me?
I don’t understand why I always feel this need to escape and getaway. Don’t even knw what I’m avoiding/running from. Really craving for a..but its not possible. Not now at least.
Halloween’s coming up, its gonna be fun. I have intentions to get high, maybe drunk. Need to forget about living for a minute and just have a laugh. Maybe loads of laughs..at all the ridiculous costumes. Heard from Liv people dress up as tofu and like hot dog buns t get free entry into clubs. That’s just sick! It’ll just be crazy t witness that sight.
I can’t wait.
Filed under: reflections
I got home from work at about 12+ and had the sudden urge to ransack my wardrobe. So I went ahead and started digging up my old clothes. Yeah old clothes like jeans from 3 or 4 years back and tops I bought but have almost never worn, or have never ever worn up to this random day. I can still fit into my 3/4 year old jeans. HOW AWESOME IS THAT. Im not meant to grow up, let me be forever young. OKAY Im kinda hyper at the moment which im sure is pretty damn obvious. It happens, this kind of shit happens. If it persists I shall be wearing my random clothes out tmr, and probably regret by lunch (which always happens it seems). Guess what, the microsoft word can actually edit photos. Like alter the colors and stuff. Im photoshop deprived! 
Actually im just deprived of a computer, and im still leeching off bee by using his laptop. Check this out!
Eh quite coolxzxzxzxzxzxzx man. Im craving for macs. WHY WHY WHY. Hungry. So hungry.
Filed under: reflections
Filed under: reflections
Loneliness seeps through the skin,
it eats into your heart.
Until there’s nothing left to feed,
until it’s torn you apart.
And you feel like you’re on the edge,
with your heart out in your hand,
Watching the world move onwards
abandoning you where you stand.
