it’s back to one,
and back to none.

too swayed by what’s on the screens
we’ve lost track of what it actually means
and so you said it foolishly to me
i’m pretty sure now, you’re sorry you did
’cause now im just only ‘that phase’
& in a heartbeat you’ve changed your pace
if it is to end, let it end where it began
it’s time to reverse the cycle, start over again

overslept today morning, cant say it wasnt expected lol
dragged my sorry ass to school, went for projects.
ate a pau & lychee tea for breakfast.
totally screensaver mode today with extreme dips in energy level.
either i was totally high or totally low. spastic.
giggled at times like a retard then became super grouchy.
crawled to cds. change of tutor. YAYY!
no more super-anal-mean teacher
spastic moments with ish in tut lol
wtf pen rolling and shit jokes.
met up with rayne after school.
shoe shopping and dark choc digestive biscuits munching.
met jn for dinner at vivo, kim gary heavy loaded cheese meal.
the 3 silly gossipy bitches reunite. awesomeee.
planned to catch wanted at cine but it was full.
no angelina for me. damn sad.
bruised from wednesday, yet again.
pictures up soon, once gracia shares.

got back from the Bintan Lagoon Resort.
awesome trip which left me in a massive amount of pain.
i have no idea how im going to travel around the next few days.
i walk like a retard and upper body movements are killing me.
oh and i’ve got bruises on my face. what the hell.
i’m disfigured. dont mock me.
so heres some of the 200 pictures from the trip.lol

I will be in Bintan in like 12hours. so yeah.
A weekend getaway from everything, with my loved ones.

pictures from wednesday

got to sleep at about 6am, got up at 8.15am or so.
horribly worn out. vodka is a silent killer.
hotcakes & sausage and a cappucino.
struggled with my Burberry, i took a cab home.
got back, showered and felt much better.
it sure feels good to be back home.

wednesday felt like a dream.
it felt as though things came through.
i think all the liquor put a rush to my head
& broke all the barriers that held my emotions in.
i remember, yet i wonder what difference it made.
if i could, i would relive that moment again.
when i felt so vulnerable & yet so honest with myself.
sounding so silly like a child.
being unbothered by everyone else who was insignificant.
i guess that was how it felt as i recall.
maybe thats why its called ‘letting loose’,
cause you become unrestrained and bare.
but its scary when you’re broken down
cause you’ll never know who will be there to protect you.

well, its one day at a time.
but you’re still close.

on a lighter note, some pictures from last week.

pictures from wednesday up soon.

these days i’ve been stuck in a loop.
my mind has been so noisy, too filled with static.
cant find the mood for anything & everything.
why does it feel as though people keep cramming thoughts into my head?
feels as though my attention’s constantly diverted, shifted then forgotten.
dont get the insults, accusations, questions.
people just dont get that their smart remarks are just hurting.
it feels as though a mask has settled over me.
im stuck in a state.
i no longer have the will to concentrate, to process, to do anything.

cant remember. cant live.
every day is just another moment.
another one till finally comes.

i have just started on retail branding. been in a whole sleepy mood all day. consumed with thoughts and what not. getting real bored of the words and really chomping on those eclipse mints. hopefully i’ll get through the paper well. looking forward to a great 2 weeks break of chalet, zouk and bintan resort.

lets fast forward.

okay intended to upload more photos from that night.
but it loads shit slow. so im lazy.
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

18th on the 18th quick!

Where do I begin?
There’s so much I want to say to make it easier
Tomorrow’s on it’s way
Do you beileve I want to take your painful memories?

I know you want to run away
I know that you can’t see tomorrow

Caroline
Let me wipe away your tears, and give you life
Make you feel beautiful again
Caroline
Don’t throw it all away
I’m here tonight, to take away your pain

Yesterday is gone and
Everything that made you cry has fallen to the ground
I’m here to bring you home
I will always take you back
You haven’t let me down

I know you want to run away
I know that you can’t see tomorrow

Caroline
Let me wipe away your tears, and give you life
Make you feel beautiful again
Caroline
Don’t throw it all away
I’m here tonight, to take away your pain

And when you’re feeling all alone and you can’t go on
Remember I am here
And when you think you’ve gone too far
I’ll meet you where you are
My arms are open wide

Caroline
Let me wipe away your tears, and give you life
Make you feel beautiful again
Caroline
Don’t throw it all away
I’m here tonight, to take away your pain

Caroline
Let me wipe away your tears, and give you life
Make you feel beautiful again
Caroline
Don’t throw it all away
I’m here tonight, to take away your pain

Caroline